I had finally started to drift off to sleep. It was so peaceful. The other beds in my dorm were empty.They had all gone home for Christmas. I didn't have to listen to them droning on about what they wanted for Christmas, who they were going to visit and what they would have for Christmas dinner. It was all so pointless.
All of the sudden, my hand felt like it was plunged into ice. My eyes shot open. I looked at my hand and saw there was a ghost's hand on mine. Well, actually, kind of in mine. My eyes followed the ghost's arm up to his face where I was surprised to see the Bloody Baron.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, cautiously. "Your the Slytherin ghost. I'm a Ravenclaw."
"Tonight that is not the case." He stated. "Tonight I am the ghost of Christmas past."
I chuckled. I knew I was dreaming now. The ghost of Christmas past, sure. Maybe Jacob Marley was outside the door. I smiled and closed my eyes again.
"Come with me now" he ordered.
"Let me sleep." I mumbled.
Suddenly I felt as if I had been doused with icy water. The Bloody Baron had passed completely through me. I would have to humor him or I'd never get any sleep. Apparently, if too many kids go home for the holidays the ghosts get bored.
"Fine." I said, as rudely as I could muster. The Bloody Baron still kind of scared me a little bit.
"We have little time." he said, touching my hand again, but this time the room started spinning. I had to close my eyes. When I opened them, I saw the shack that my family had lived in when I was little. There was a tiny pine tree in the corner with a few paper decorations. Under the tree were three small packages wrapped in newspaper.
I knew where this was going. I didn't need to relive this.
"You will watch!" the Baron shouted at me as if reading my mind.
I watched my seven year old self take the three presents from under the tree. I unwrapped a plastic soldier, a whistle and a rag doll. I crept outside the house and went to the large tree behind the house. I climbed it and put the presents in a large hole in the trunk. I climbed back down and went to bed.
Time passed quickly now and my little brother and sister ran out to the pine tree. Disappointment showed on their faces as they realized there were no presents.
I watched myself laugh at them.
"I told you there was no Santa Claus!" I heard myself tease them.
"Proud of yourself?" the Bloody Baron asked me. Tears welled up in my eyes as I watched my brother and sister cry.
"I want to go back to Hogwarts now." I whispered.
"You're not going anywhere yet!" he raged at me. "You have more to see!"
I didn't need to see more, but he showed me. All of the Christmas holidays that I had ruined over the years. The hurt that I caused not only my brother and sister, but my parents as well.
I was crying hard now. It was awful to watch. I couldn't believe all of the terrible things I had done.
The Bloody Baron looked at me.
"Yes...now I think I can take you back."

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Ratings and Comments

#1Maquelly John's AvatarMaquelly John (rated this 5)

The ending of this was sudden and the story began losing interest and detail at the end

#2Ashmita Saha's AvatarAshmita Saha (rated this 10)

#3Catriona Watson's AvatarCatriona Watson (rated this 8)

Nice writing and a good read...creative too. Well done.

#4Allie Dawn's AvatarAllie Dawn (rated this 8)

I really liked that, entertaining and to the point. Very creative and I really enjoyed it :)

#5Danae Green's AvatarDanae Green (rated this 8)

It's very nice, but it had a very sudden end! It would be better if it was a bit longer!

#6Aaron Kingsley's AvatarAaron Kingsley (rated this 9)

Wow this strongly played to my emotions. The details in the story of past was what made this story and the detail added between the dialogue.

#7Ariel Kingston's AvatarAriel Kingston (rated this 9)

i liked it very nice phrasing with the dialouge

#8Sarah Evans's AvatarSarah Evans (rated this 8)

Very creative! Nice work. I really enjoyed it

#9Mirasol Ada's AvatarMirasol Ada (rated this 8)

not bad! lots of emotien, I felt sad for the character.

#10Samantha Lockhart's AvatarSamantha Lockhart (rated this 7)

You were very creative with it, but it was a bit short. Great job!

#11Marilla Teague's AvatarMarilla Teague (rated this 10)

I think this is very well written. The abrupt ending reminds me exactly of the Bloody Baron! I think the story worked well.

#12Samantha Dally's AvatarSamantha Dally (rated this 8)

Really well written! I liked the ending!

#13Silde Owen's AvatarSilde Owen (rated this 8)

Good but as the others said, you could have written a little more. The way you wrote the end it seems like the Baron was pleased to see you crying but we don't know exactly what you learnt from the experience. With no maximum word limit on this project you could have afforded to write a bit more to straighten the end out.

#14Eno Thomas's AvatarEno Thomas (rated this 9)

Like the others said, the only part only the end needs to be longer and clearer. I KNOW you got tired after writing all this! *nods*

#15Arielle Lemoyne's AvatarArielle Lemoyne (rated this 9)

I thought this was very well-written, and I actually liked the ending. Perhaps you could have described other Christmases you ruined, but it's a nice story as it is.

#16Tara Aurelium's AvatarTara Aurelium (rated this 7)

As Amanda said, the ending was, indeed, rather abrupt. The story would've been a whole lot better if you continued it, rather than having only one ghost appear and making you experience your past over and over again.
Kudos on the story, though. (:

#17Amanda P. X. Sim's AvatarAmanda P. X. Sim (rated this 8)

Oh good, finally a first story :) Hmm... I was kind of waiting to see what happened next and was a little surprised that you stated only one example. I think the whole thing would have been better if you made more examples and talked more about what you saw instead, more of the awful past you had. The ending is rather... abrupt. But good try!