"Hmmm, wonder what's at the door today?" asked Aly
Aly walks outside and looks around to see who could have delivered the box. MONSTER MAKER HANDLE WITH CARE.
What? Monster Maker? She noticed they had spelled "care" wrong. Aly ran inside to grab a marker and quickly changed it to "care". Then, she took the box inside. Her mother was curious to hear what was in the box, so she decided to ask. "What's in the box, Aly?" asked Mom. "Oh nothing just a package from a friend..." replied Aly as she quickly ran up the stairs. Aly sprinted to her room and opened the box. NO ASSEMBLY REQUIRED the box read. "Um, okay that's great" said Aly "Maybe I should call Emma over and ask her if she wants to help?" She grabbed the phone and dialed Emma's number. "Hello, Emma, would you like to come over and help with a...a...experiment? Yes! That's great, come over now, okay bye" DING DONG! "Hi Emma!" said Aly. "Hey there Aly, so what's the experiment, OMG, a Monster Maker! When are we going to get started?" asked Emma." "Right now" replied Aly. Soon the started, they worked and worked, Emma even had to stay over. Until later that night, they had reated a monster, the most craziest monster, they called it the Cropen. The two girls hid the Cropen in the closet, and went to bed. But little did they know, the Cropen got loose and started destroying their small town of Gyter. The next morning......
"Huh, AHHHH!" screamed Aly "What's wrong" asked Emma
"Our Crogen is gone, and its destroying Gyter!" exclaimed Aly. "Oh, no, what are we going to do?" asked the girls. "I guess we'll have to suit up and charge at it." said Emma. " I guess you're right, since we created it, we know how to destroy it" replied Aly. "But the question is we don't know how." sighed Emma. "We'll just have to make a plan" Then the two girls worked hard to figure how to destroy the Crogen.
Will the girls save the town of Gyter? Or will they fail and be forced to evacuate, or even, get destroyed?

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Ratings and Comments

#1Polaris Black's AvatarPolaris Black (rated this 7)

This is a really good story but it ended just a little too abruptly for me. I really wanted to know what happened next!

#2Clara Rinne's AvatarClara Rinne (rated this 7)

You did a great job of building suspense. I would love to see what happens next! It is a very good beginning.

#3Rhiannon Brennan's AvatarRhiannon Brennan (rated this 6)

This is a very good beginning to a story that would seem to be filled with adventure! Some parts feel a little rushed, but that could just be my opinion. I'd be interested to see what the girls have to do to capture/defeat their creation.

#4Meredith Malkins's AvatarMeredith Malkins (rated this 6)

It's very good, but I'm wondering where the rest is! It's too good to just leave it there. Also "CARE" is spelt correctly. How was it supposed to be spelt? Just wondering. But overall it was excellent! (By the way, this is coming from the author of the 500-700 word story!)

#5Ian Carson's AvatarIan Carson (rated this 7)

This is a rather good story. I like the tension you create that makes us wonder what happens after this.

#6Nina Messersmith's AvatarNina Messersmith (rated this 8)

A good beginning to a story. I enjoyed reading it and I'd be curious to find out what happens next ;)