It had been five weeks since Prof. Ulol Kimil had disappeared. The first week most people just thought he had finally cracked from all of the “dramz” and disappeared to an unplottable sunny island. The second week a few people started to get worried. People started looking for clues in his disappearance in week three. However, they were not able to find anything until a week later. Week four was when chaos broke out in HOL. Professor Cassandra Sparkleissa Lobiesk appointed herself to the position of Headmistress, Ruler of the HOL World, and Owner of All Souls, Beans, and Cake.

At first most people just thought she was being silly and trying to lighten the mood in the school. However, when she continued to enforce more and more new rules, such as cake for every meal and T-Swizzle Thursdays, everyone began to realize that she was involved in the disappearance of Prof. Kimil. Prof. Pavel A. Lagrange was the first to accuse our new headmistress of disposing of Prof. Kimil. After he publicly accused her in front of the entire school, he was captured and punished. From then on, whenever he talked he sounded like a pirate and was often seen looking for his kidnapped parrot, Polly-C. The next accuser and eventual victim was Maya Winters. Being one of those closest to Cassandra, she had a good idea of where Prof. Kimil was hidden. Before she would tell anyone else, however, Cassandra got suspicious. Maya was then locked in a room babysitting Jesus Harry, Cassandra’s child. Next came Alexia Riaper who was caught writing a story for the Alte about how corrupt Cassandra was. Alexia had to spend every day and night doing math equations that Cassandra assigned to her.

HOL had finally had enough when Cassandra threatened to cancel quidditch. RQT decided to take action. While Cassandra was distracted by a couple bludgers let loose in her cake supply room, RQT broke into her office looking for a way to force her out of power. What they found was Prof. Kimil tied up in a corner under a sheet with holes in it. They quickly found out that he had asked Cassandra to write a wordy announcement for him. However, she had instead written a contract saying that he would allow her to tie him up and take over HOL. Prof. Kimil had simply signed the document without fully reading it. RQT agreed to release Prof. Kimil and help him destroy the document if he agreed to never ban quidditch. Due to the five weeks he had spent being tortured by Cassandra’s constant singing and emo’ing, he didn’t even hesitate to agree. He was released and regained his title of Headmaster. Cassandra is now Head of the Complaints Department, where she not only has to listen to every complaint, but she also has to come up with a solution to everyone’s problems. We think she learned her lesson.

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Ratings and Comments

#1Notal W-Arlost's AvatarNotal W-Arlost (rated this 10)

This is hilarious! Fantastic job!

#2Crystal Malfoy's AvatarCrystal Malfoy (rated this 10)

It was very good and very funny

#3Charlotte Athena's AvatarCharlotte Athena (rated this 10)

Very good! I love it! It is very funny with a lot of voice.

Great job!

#4Bella Dean's AvatarBella Dean (rated this 10)

Good story. I LOVED it! Whoever wrote this should think about taking up writing as a career. Nice job!

#5Angel Pevensie's AvatarAngel Pevensie (rated this 9)

What a fun to read it! Coming up with such an idea... Wow... It's silly yet witty. A job well done! :D

#6Sirius Fudge's AvatarSirius Fudge (rated this 9)

The humor is fantastic! The simple plot fits perfectly to the humor. Very enjoyable! Although I did not understand some of the information since I am not fully knowledgeable of the context, but still, nice, great job! You just enjoyed writing your entry and I think that's important!

#7Kaydence Weaber's AvatarKaydence Weaber (rated this 9)

This is really funny and enjoyable. I liked the ending. Good job.

#8Atalinn Copeii-Devilsnare's AvatarAtalinn Copeii-Devilsnare (rated this 10)

I like this. It had a different approach to it which made it all the more enjoyable!

#9Rebekah Wilder's AvatarRebekah Wilder (rated this 10)

Amazing story... but what's so bad with having cake at every meal?

#10Andie Smith's AvatarAndie Smith (rated this 10)

This is incredible! I really loved it! x)

#11Kirra Rohan's AvatarKirra Rohan (rated this 10)

So I'm sitting in class reading this which wasn't a good idea, because I snorted really loudly while my teacher was lecturing. I tried to pass it off as a sneeze, not sure if it really worked.

Anyway what I'm trying to say is that this made me laugh/snort, and it's pretty darn fab.

Though I must say, cake for every meal, T-Swizzle Thursdays, and math don't sound too bad to me ;)

#12Patrick Kane's AvatarPatrick Kane (rated this 10)

great job this is an excellent story great job BRAVO!!!

#13Prof. Pavel A. Lagrange's AvatarProf. Pavel A. Lagrange (rated this 10)

Loved it, very funny and entertaining even if it did have the eewww face in it.

#14Lucy Brooks's AvatarLucy Brooks (rated this 10)

Brilliant! very detailed and still managed to capture the reader's attention. I do love every bit of it. Poor Cassandra~

#15Alexia Riaper's AvatarAlexia Riaper (rated this 10)

lol Cassandra would have a supply room full of cake.

*refuses to do the math questions*

#16Nina Messersmith's AvatarNina Messersmith (rated this 10)

LOL! This was the funnist story I have read! I Loved it :) Hahaha.... poor Cassandra.

#17Grace Black's AvatarGrace Black (rated this 10)


It was witty, detailed and not to mention FUN! Great job keep up the good work!

#18Isabelle Chen 's AvatarIsabelle Chen (rated this 10)

i loved it!

#19Anneliese Lee's AvatarAnneliese Lee (rated this 10)


I love the jokes and story line! The incorporation of all the HOL staff is great. A job well done, I lol'd through the whole thing! :D

#20Blanca Solchoice's AvatarBlanca Solchoice (rated this 10)

This was really excellent!! And while o isn't understand all of the jokes, I still thought it was cute (I'm a newbie <_< ). Otherwise it was a great story; descriptive, informative, and everything good and sparkly!! Quite well done!! :)

#21Edmund Smethwyck's AvatarEdmund Smethwyck (rated this 10)

This is the best story ever. I'm not sure I even want to write one anymore, because nothing can top this.

I do believe this includes every bit of lovely crack-ness that anyone could ever desire, and more - pure brilliance.

If I could give this more than 10, I would in a heartbeat.

#22Olive Star's AvatarOlive Star (rated this 9)

Cassandra deserves it! This was a very detailed story, but you need to make it a little more understandable. Bravo!

#23Prof. Cassandra Lobiesk's AvatarProf. Cassandra Lobiesk (rated this 10)

LOL. Best. Starting. Story. EVER.

And no. I haven't learned my lesson. In fact, those scant days of ruling with cake and T-Swizzle Thursdays seemed much worth all the punishment for later. XD

*shoves all the complaints away in a bucket of drool*