Resolutions for the New Year?

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February Fortescue
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Resolutions for the New Year?

Post by February Fortescue »

The year 2021 is almost here, and I don't know about you guys, but I'm definitely ready! I love the idea that a new year brings the chance for a fresh new start and the chance to begin again. We have the opportunity to look over the past year, decide what things went right and what we want to repeat, what things went wrong and what we want to improve on, and what things we are simply going to choose to ignore.

Every year, I struggle with wanting to create a huge list of items I want to improve on, complete with due dates, but then I remember I'll probably abandon most of them within a month, so it seems like a waste of time. So this is my New Year's Resolution for 2021:

To live every day as if it were my last.

If I can meet this one goal, my day will have been a success.

What about you? Do you make New Year's Resolutions? What are some of your resolutions for 2021?
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Prof. Sindor Aloyarc
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Re: Resolutions for the New Year?

Post by Prof. Sindor Aloyarc »

I resolve in 2021 to let go of on the spot/mutual tensions faster once it’s at or past the breaking point.

While I do feel I’ve got an okay grasp on “letting to” and “forgiving” and “moving on” once the conversation/circumstance has passed by, it seems like I could use some more focus on holding back unnecessary tension between myself and others once recognized.

This past year in particular I feel like I keep noticing that “moment”, that specific *point* when it’s clearly not worth harping on the matter any longer. And then —BOOM— I walk right past it. Not saying this happens all the time, mind, but just that it’s probably something healthy I could do for myself, and certainly any of the people who wind up engaging in these moments with me, as that’s typically when it can lead to potentially even more frustrating moments shared. Which, while I appreciate the learning experience, think I’m ready to find a little more balance in this area so that this energy can be put to another use.

Whether it’s taking a break from said conversation, or letting it go for good, I’ve started to become more mindful of how tempting it is for me to sometimes press on trying to resolve things past the point where it’s beneficial. Even if things don’t get particularly heated after that, it does in these times tend to create an atmosphere where someone getting frustrated could lead to something more toxic than loving.

I’ve noticed that I want to ignore that feeling of “just let it go for now” (particularly if I’m already anxious/emotional) because I want to resolve the tension sooner than later, but it’s not just about me is it? And if trying to resolve tension in the wrong way or wrong time only creates more tension, then that certainly isn’t productive toward my overall goal.

Suppose in many ways it’s about being able to sit with my own emotional stress and anxiety patiently when it involves another person to connect with in order to move forward, but that it doesn’t mean I can’t find ways of calming myself and moving forward on my own, even without someone else’s input or effort. Allowing them the freedom to choose their own path, and accepting that their freedom is the same gift I’m experiencing by being allowed to choose how I handle it and respond as well.

The funny thing is, I always know it will be alright once I’m on the other side. As I said, that part I’m good at. Yet while it’s happening I’d like to find ways of not allowing my ego to overrule my spirit with the justification of feeling overwhelmed. Eye of the tornado, yeah??

And I’m not saying I have control issues, but I’m definitely not NOT saying it either ;)
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"—I have watched you grow and I've stood in your shadow,
I've never walked away. I hung the stars and I hold your heart,
so don't ever be afraid.
"
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