While most people make world domination seem quite difficult, it really is rather simple. You just need the correct supplies and a proper strategy. I have compiled the ten steps it will take for you to achieve your goal of world domination with the least amount of effort.
1. LEARN TO DODGE! I bet you thought this was just for Quidditch purposes, but really it is part of world domination training! You never know when your enemies (or friends) might throw something at you. Knowing how to dodge is an essential skill to conquer the world and not get seriously injured.
2. NEVER LET A MAN BE IN CHARGE! Sorry to all the males out there, but you’re just not meant to be in charge. You can be second in command, sure, but in charge? No way. Just imagine if you got lost somewhere on your journey to complete power and a man was in charge! He’d be too stubborn to ask directions and someone else would take over the world.
3. FORM A CHAIN OF COMMAND! This is essential to a successful attempt at power. You must have a second, third, fourth, etc. in command. These can be anyone who you think will do a proper job if you are unable to do so. Just make sure they aren’t going to stab you in the back for power. No one wants to lose power in Julius Caesar fashion!
4. NEVER TRUST A LOBIESK! This should really be self explanatory.
5. HAVE FIERCE UNIFORMS! If you’re going to take over the world you might as well look good while doing it! You need the right mixture of fierceness and intimidation. Think Lady Gaga meets Death Eaters.
6. PICK THE LOCATION OF YOUR HEADQUARTERS CAREFULLY! This is where lots of people mess up. It is fine to have an awesome looking HQ, but it needs a proper location. I personally prefer a random location with a wicked looking building such as Kazakhstan (which also helps with the Lobiesk problem mentioned in step 4).
7. DRAMZ. Yes, dramz or drama if you are not familiar with the proper term for it in the world of domination. Use dramz to your advantage! Infiltrate your enemy’s headquarters with dramz and watch them flounder. Simply by starting a few rumors you can make your enemies crumble from within!
8. FORM ALLIANCES! It is important to have the right people on your side….at least in the beginning. Forming alliances with the right people will help you gain power in a faster and more effective way. However, once you attain enough power to overshadow them you can break alliances if needed.
9. TRANSPORTATION! You cannot overlook the importance of an intimidating vehicle. You need something with killer looks, speed, and some fantastic gadgets. The batmobile is a good example of this.
10. HAVE A PET! Pets are crucial for a few reasons. One being that they’re cute. Another is the fact that they can distract your enemies with said cuteness. Many people who have tried to take over the world have had pets. Voldemort had Nagini. Dr. Evil had Mr. Biggleworth. Plus they are just good company! RQT adopted this method in their search for Quidditch domination by adopting a pet Kitty which apparently worked out quite well.
If you follow all of these steps you will be successful in your goal of world domination! You cannot take any of them for granted if you want to succeed. Especially number four which can destroy your plan in a matter of seconds and leave you with a sparkly world full of emo Taylor Swiftness and never ending cake. You have been warned.