While most people make world domination seem quite difficult, it really is rather simple. You just need the correct supplies and a proper strategy. I have compiled the ten steps it will take for you to achieve your goal of world domination with the least amount of effort.

1. LEARN TO DODGE! I bet you thought this was just for Quidditch purposes, but really it is part of world domination training! You never know when your enemies (or friends) might throw something at you. Knowing how to dodge is an essential skill to conquer the world and not get seriously injured.

2. NEVER LET A MAN BE IN CHARGE! Sorry to all the males out there, but you’re just not meant to be in charge. You can be second in command, sure, but in charge? No way. Just imagine if you got lost somewhere on your journey to complete power and a man was in charge! He’d be too stubborn to ask directions and someone else would take over the world.

3. FORM A CHAIN OF COMMAND! This is essential to a successful attempt at power. You must have a second, third, fourth, etc. in command. These can be anyone who you think will do a proper job if you are unable to do so. Just make sure they aren’t going to stab you in the back for power. No one wants to lose power in Julius Caesar fashion!

4. NEVER TRUST A LOBIESK! This should really be self explanatory.

5. HAVE FIERCE UNIFORMS! If you’re going to take over the world you might as well look good while doing it! You need the right mixture of fierceness and intimidation. Think Lady Gaga meets Death Eaters.

6. PICK THE LOCATION OF YOUR HEADQUARTERS CAREFULLY! This is where lots of people mess up. It is fine to have an awesome looking HQ, but it needs a proper location. I personally prefer a random location with a wicked looking building such as Kazakhstan (which also helps with the Lobiesk problem mentioned in step 4).

7. DRAMZ. Yes, dramz or drama if you are not familiar with the proper term for it in the world of domination. Use dramz to your advantage! Infiltrate your enemy’s headquarters with dramz and watch them flounder. Simply by starting a few rumors you can make your enemies crumble from within!

8. FORM ALLIANCES! It is important to have the right people on your side….at least in the beginning. Forming alliances with the right people will help you gain power in a faster and more effective way. However, once you attain enough power to overshadow them you can break alliances if needed.

9. TRANSPORTATION! You cannot overlook the importance of an intimidating vehicle. You need something with killer looks, speed, and some fantastic gadgets. The batmobile is a good example of this.

10. HAVE A PET! Pets are crucial for a few reasons. One being that they’re cute. Another is the fact that they can distract your enemies with said cuteness. Many people who have tried to take over the world have had pets. Voldemort had Nagini. Dr. Evil had Mr. Biggleworth. Plus they are just good company! RQT adopted this method in their search for Quidditch domination by adopting a pet Kitty which apparently worked out quite well.

If you follow all of these steps you will be successful in your goal of world domination! You cannot take any of them for granted if you want to succeed. Especially number four which can destroy your plan in a matter of seconds and leave you with a sparkly world full of emo Taylor Swiftness and never ending cake. You have been warned.

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Ratings and Comments

#1Sarah Evans's AvatarSarah Evans (rated this 9)

This was a very entertaining read! Good luck in your domination!

#2Alexia Riaper's AvatarAlexia Riaper (rated this 10)

Very helpful instructions. I formed an alliance with a Lobiesk once. No wonder we didn't win.

#3Hadrian Thoms's AvatarHadrian Thoms (rated this 9)

Loved this, it was pretty funny and gave me a good laugh!

#4Dannii Lightcycle's AvatarDannii Lightcycle (rated this 8)

Love it :) Especially the Lady Gaga bit.

#5Amelia Paxley's AvatarAmelia Paxley (rated this 9)

I enjoyed the extensive use of vocabulary, the easy humour (Lady Gaga vs. Death Eaters, indeed) and the flow of this "World Domination" piece. Overall a cleverly written and amusing bit of writing with no discernable flaws, well done :)

#6Amelia Fadden's AvatarAmelia Fadden (rated this 10)

Excellent!! I love that you mentioned how pets are essential for their distractingly cute looks. Because it's so true. Pets are deceivingly adorable. And I also love the idea of fierce uniforms. So often this is overlooked!

Very clever indeed. :)

#7Ahadya Pancasakti's AvatarAhadya Pancasakti (rated this 10)

Brilliant!! It is very inspiring but funny X)

#8Labyrinth Blake's AvatarLabyrinth Blake (rated this 10)

Brilliant! I loved it! Definately funny and totally awesome!

#9Constance Rigley's AvatarConstance Rigley (rated this 10)

This is amazing! If only it could fit on a shirt!

#10Maria Stewart's AvatarMaria Stewart (rated this 10)

Woow.thyis is simply brilliant! If I wanted to take over the worl I would definetly follow this awsome steps!

#11Enyret Egihci's AvatarEnyret Egihci (rated this 10)

The score says it all. This is absolutely wickedly brilliant! I would NEVER have thought of all those. I especially love number 10 :D

#12Dominic Burke's AvatarDominic Burke (rated this 10)

Wow, that's bloody brilliant. Although I'm fairly certain a certain female is tapping into their inner Slytherin on this one...

#13Ardeliah Longbottom's AvatarArdeliah Longbottom (rated this 10)

Not bad not bad at all. There are a few things that wouldn't be on my master plan list but all in all a good start. I wish you luck with your plans.

#14Splendora Tonks Sanchez's AvatarSplendora Tonks Sanchez (rated this 10)

This was absolutely hilarious and entertaining to read. Fantastic work!

#15Kirra Rohan's AvatarKirra Rohan (rated this 10)

This made me laugh so hard. Utterly brilliant.

#16Kadina Tigano's AvatarKadina Tigano (rated this 10)

This is quite possibly the best thing i have ever read. It's hilarious and actually kind of true at times... XDDD Loved it.

#17Prof. Cassandra Lobiesk's AvatarProf. Cassandra Lobiesk (rated this 10)

WILD RUDE. A Lobiesk must ALWAYS be trusted. Except during times when they shouldn't. Duh.

This was quite fab, though, even with the disagreeable stipulations >>

#18Ophelia Hoodhood's AvatarOphelia Hoodhood (rated this 10)

that was so funny! there was not one hting about it that i disliked

#19Desmond Warren's AvatarDesmond Warren (rated this 10)

No one wants to lose power in Julius Caesar fashion!

HAHA x) BRILLIANT

#20Katie Tate's AvatarKatie Tate (rated this 10)

Great job! Really fun y, but you stuck to the topic! Ten!

#21Katelin Ross's AvatarKatelin Ross (rated this 10)

This is a brilliant step by step way to world domination! I can tell you really thought this out!

#22Tara Aurelium's AvatarTara Aurelium (rated this 10)

lololol pet kitty.

Brilliant, really. XD I think I have a guess or two about who wrote this, too ;)

#23Edmund Smethwyck's AvatarEdmund Smethwyck (rated this 10)

This is quite brilliant and certainly entertaining! Top of the notch. Speaking of transportation though, I do need to update my ride a bit. The minivan just isn't evil enough.

#24Luke Lock's AvatarLuke Lock (rated this 10)

That's really good, it made me laugh.

#25Maravillas Arrington's AvatarMaravillas Arrington (rated this 10)

I have to write what, 8 words in order for this to count rigt? And yet brilliant is pretty much the bottom line. Haha, you know I love this!