When I first have seen Harry Potter

It was half dark in the room, I gazed around and saw many of my friends sleeping in there cage. The darkness was my element so I did not mind it all. I heard familiar noises around and they calmed me.
I took a sneak peak outside the window and saw people press there faces against it, in the hope they will see something. The silly eggs, they where annoying me. FLY!

Suddenly, I nearly fell from my stick for behind the window a huge shadow passed. What was that, I got curios and peak at it; in my excitement I poked Earl next to me. He opened one eye and looked angry at me. I fell quite again, turned myself back to the shadow that had passed but I had only eye for the boy walking next to it.
I got intrigued by the scene.

....

I had no idea what happened in the hour I had closed my eyes for when I opened them I saw something huge standing in the shop with a lot of hair and it was looking at me. I got scared by the very sight of that hideous monster.
Without any warning, the thing started to speak but the volume of it, made me angry so I gave a very ugly look at the hairy beast. Behind the huge statuette of what I believed to be a man, I heard the shop owner say: “you made a good choice, Hagrid, with that snow white owl, shall I give her to you then!”
I peaked around the shop to see for any other female snow white owl and to my own horror I was the only one.

I felt my cage move from left to right and I was taken out of the darkness and into the light. I was worried for I had no idea were this would lead me, but I remained calm. I had a new owner, no matter how he looked. The new stage of my journey could begin and I was excited.
The Hagrid fellow took me between the bodies of witches and wizards, stopped near the shop of Ollivanders and poked on the window. I gazed inside and saw the boy again, which I had seen before. I immediately understood that not the Hagrid was my owner but that small wizard boy. “What do they think I am, a child nurse”!: was all I could mutter.



Pf, the journey to this Castle place was hard and long but it was worth it. I was addicted to my new owner Harry Potter; he even gave me the coolest name ever: Hedwig.
I wished I could do more for him or that I was able to speak to him for I saw that something was bothering him but I really could not place what it was, it seemed the hunt him every day he was near me.

But even with all these troubles on my head, I was glad that my Harry had a friend, this Ronald guy, seems okay. Not sure about his rat! I shall have to keep an eye on that beast.
Anyways, I was all excited that I could give my owner a paw with his mail. That was my favourite occupation. Mmm, not that I was thinking of it it reminds me of the day I had to send a huge package to Harry.
It was the day I was somewhat bored in my owlery. I had nothing to do and it was around Christmas. Suddenly, I was pokes awake out of my day dream and saw Hagrid standing before me. He asked to deliver cookies to Harry. Boy, those cookies weight like a ton but I brought them as ordered. My first huge package was a success and I was pleased with the happy face of my Harry.
However, it was also the time that I was growing my first minor grudge towards my owner. I had the feeling he was plotting things and that he was leaving me out of all the fun. I had a feeling that he was ignoring me. How rude!!!!



The seasons changed and the end of my first year with Harry was getting near. The Castle owlery was all in uproar. The whispers of the shadows spoke of dark events and the name of you-know-who was heard at Hogwarts. Between the hooting, the name of my owner Harry was mentioned every time. I got worried. Never before in my life, had I been so afraid about somebody. My brain was working on high speed and it felt like I was dieing.
I rushed myself as fast as my wings could carry me toward the castle. On the way, I saw Eve and asked her what had happened. She said: "you-know-who as attacked Harry Potter and the boy was in the hospital but that he was fine."

All of the worries about my owner fell from my shoulders and I was at rest again. Yes, I could say that my first year with Harry, was not wow but I was in love with Potter and I was sure that things would change.
The summer was on my doorstep and my new live was beginning.…

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Ratings and Comments

#1Serenity Thomas's AvatarSerenity Thomas (rated this 8)

Very good story :) Like people said there were some spelling/grammar issues but, it didn't bother me, great job!

#2Bev Grey's AvatarBev Grey (rated this 7)

Very detailed... and still interesting!

#3Bart Cork's AvatarBart Cork (rated this 8)

nice Job, I liked the way you wrote the details

#4Capricorn Shangles's AvatarCapricorn Shangles (rated this 0)

good job, it was very discriptive when you discribed there feelings and focus on each.

#5Jacqualine Snape's AvatarJacqualine Snape (rated this 8)

A good effort, you really describe Hedwig's feelings well.

#6David Hester's AvatarDavid Hester (rated this 9)

Very nice story. I like how you used the viewpoint of Hedwig. Very descriptive, nice work!

#7Askeron Kyle's AvatarAskeron Kyle (rated this 7)

I liked it, it was very enjoyable to read. A nice story.

#8Catriona Watson's AvatarCatriona Watson (rated this 7)

Nice story and since it is the first story it is kind of nice to read something so simple. Good work.

#9Zoki Phantom's AvatarZoki Phantom (rated this 7)

I think this was nice. I liked the story overall, just it had some spelling/grammar errors, though that's not what bugged me.

I just think you can make it better.
<3

#10Jenna Hathaway's AvatarJenna Hathaway (rated this 6)

Nice retelling, just a little spelling/grammar problems that was a bit distracting

#11Rose Alstien's AvatarRose Alstien (rated this 8)

Very complete, good story, but there were a lot of small spelling and grammer issues.

#12Eno Thomas's AvatarEno Thomas (rated this 10)

I think this is a nice and complete story. Here are included all the small things and all the feelings. Good Job!

#13Jessica Miranda Jodoin's AvatarJessica Miranda Jodoin (rated this 6)

I think it's alright, the story was supposed to be about Hedwig's life with Harry, the full seven years, you only wrote about the first year.
With all due respect it was written incredibly, I can mentally picture the sequence of events in my head, but you didn't quite understand the events. that's how im basing my rating,