New and Amazing News!!! Newly spotted Magical Creature!!
The Ministry of Magic didn't want YOU to Know!!!
Latest breaking news: Discovered in Pembrokeshire! New! Rare!
The Amazing Carne-Shelled Wolverinster!
Little did tiny Simon Jones, in St. David's Wales, know what he would find when out practicing quidditch this past week. In this tiny Welsh hamlet, all seemed serene and safe.
But while taking a break for pumpkin juice, little Simon, just 10 years, old, heard a ferocious growling and snuffling! Looking for the source in the rocks of west Wales, what should Simon discover, but a never before seen
Carne-Shelled Wolverinster! Nothing like it has ever been seen on this continent!
Of course, the Quibbler was there first to interview little Simon:
"I was just drinking my pumpkin juice," says the diminuitive Jones, "when I heard the sounds. I thought it was our dog, or maybe a few gnomes after my snack!" Lucky for Jones he never investigated too closely, for like their mammalian cousins the wolverine, Carne-Shelled Wolverinsters must be fabulous fighters.
"It might have been hunting," explains the 10 year old Jones. With rare foresight, Jones took the photo at right of this rare Magical Creature, never seen or discovered before! Notice how quickly this newly discovered creature moves!
"It looked like a growling rock with massive teeth," explained Jones to our reporter, as ever, the first on the spot for this breaking story. "When the Wolverinster moved, you could see it had a shell that looked like a pebble beach, all in motion! It shot past me like a Cornish Pixie!"
Quick to learn more about the rare and never before seen or discovered Wolverinster, the Quibbler went to Care of Magical Creatures Professor Rubeus Hagrid, of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. We askd Professor Hagrid about this amazing discovery.
"I jus' wish I'd been there," said Professor Hagrid. "Som'n new and discovered like this don't come along every day."
Asked about the possible relatives of the Wolverinster, Professor Hagrid explained the Wolverinster might be related to nifflers.
"Sounds like this Wolverinster moved a bit like a niffler. Now, rightly speakin', a niffler isn't a danger. This Wolverinster sounds more of a threat," cautioned Professor Hagrid. "I jus' know I want one for Hogwarts," sighed the committed teacher.
As often the case, the Department of Magical Creatures at the Ministry of Magic has little to say about this important and amazing new discovery. We sent our reporter to the Ministry for an interview, and found, sadly, that the Department had little to say.
"We have not verified the existence of the so-called Carne-Shelled Wolverinster," said assistant director Benjie Marsupius. "We need members of the Department of Magical Creatures to verify this finding in west Wales, and until further investigation, we have no further comment."
The Quibbler's sources inside the Ministry, however, say that professional jealousy is preventing any insightful research into little Simon Jones' discovery.
To readers of the Quibbler, such misdirected policies are hardly new. Readers will remember the Ministry's reaction to Crumple-Horned Snorkacks and Wrackspurts! Clearly the Department is still holding to its traditionalist views.
"Well, the Ministry doesn't want to admit that a little boy can find a creature they've never discovered," said Lindsey Pryor, who runs the Little Whining Rescue for Magical Creatures.
"Clearly the Ministry doesn't want to take on the work to set new standards for this wonderful sounding discovery! It will be us rescue workers up and down the country who will have to step in should these creatures face ignorant treatment from the Wizarding community!"
Annabelle Burley, of the International Magical Creatures Fund, spoke of the immediate need to set up international laws to protect this new find. "Something this rare and never before seen, will need protection from the entire Magical community. It is a shame that the Department of Magical Creatures is neglecting its duty to this animal!"
In terms of day to day interaction, the Quibbler asked Professor Hagrid about precautions the Wizarding community can take with this newly discovered, and potentially dangerous creature.
"Well, now, most creatures won't hurt ya," said the Professor, "but with teeth an' all, ya might wanta jus' stay back a bit maybe. What we need, tho, are more pictures."
So there you have it folks! A new and exciting discovery here in the Wizarding community. To help with further scientific research on this rare Wolverinster, the Quibbler offers a 20 galleon reward for anyone who can find and capture on Wizarding film this amazing new creature.
And Annabelle Burey has already started a fund to protect and ensure the survival of the rare Carne-Shelled Wolverinster. You can send contributions to this fund through our Quibbler office.