Dan Isaacs

He was an ordinary man, neither fat nor thin, neither tall nor small... the absolute average of all things. He had a face you could forget almost instantly, and there was no crowd he could not disappear inÖ He was so ordinary he became invisible.
At work he wore a neat suit, neither expensive nor cheap, a tie and polished shoes. What he wore out of work I never knew, and I donít suppose many did, for he was not the person you would think to have an active social life, or even a social life at all.
His power lay not in anything physical. As would be expected neither his speed nor strength were anything out of the ordinary.
He lived his life by the book.
He followed every single rule in it, kept himself top every single letter, and with an unusual harshness, he expected the same from all around him.

It was hard to see him coming, unnoticeable as he was, it was impossible to keep a watch out for him. He could arrive at our doorstep any time, papers in his hand. And with a single autograph on those papers, he could banish me to a life away from home, from my mother, and all that I had known.

We represented everything this man loathed; a chaotic, disorganized household, a home held together by magic and the ability to improvise.
He was blind to all that was good about it, the love, the freedom.

He took out his list and started checking, ever checking, making notes of the dust on the shelves, the food in the fridge, the unwashed dishes in the sink.

Each time he moved through my house I held my breath, hid under the sink and prayed he would leave.

He had the power to change my life, but not the ability to understand it.

He was an ordinary man, and he had no great powers.
But in his hand he held the pen that could change my life forever, and thus I feared him more than anything.

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Ratings and Comments

#1Ani Snape's AvatarAni Snape (rated this 5)

This seems kind of, not complete and also like an introduction to a story as opposed to a description of a villain.

#2Jenna Hathaway's AvatarJenna Hathaway (rated this 8)

I like how your villain isn't anyone with superpowers and yet very powerful.

#3Emily Aca's AvatarEmily Aca (rated this 7)

It's good. I liked it, a little plain though. But, still good.

#4Prof. Ulol Kimil's AvatarProf. Ulol Kimil (rated this 7)

weird but interesting... now go clean your room!!!

#5Prof. Charles Pendragon's AvatarProf. Charles Pendragon (rated this 7)

#6Mairead Falcourt's AvatarMairead Falcourt (rated this 9)

nice description. I would like him though.

#7Crystal Clementine's AvatarCrystal Clementine (rated this 10)

I like it.

#8Bev Grey's AvatarBev Grey (rated this 8)

I think you well named what this villain does against you. It was a hard topic and I think you did well.

#9Rose Alstien's AvatarRose Alstien (rated this 10)

I love the way you pick such an ordinary person to be a villan. I love it!!!

#10Ashlee Sully's AvatarAshlee Sully (rated this 5)

I'm not really sure what you're trying to say here, but I will admit that I am curious.

#11Rorey Padfoot's AvatarRorey Padfoot (rated this 7)

very good detail.

#12Lera Kamerat's AvatarLera Kamerat (rated this 9)

Nice Description,

#13Belle Rain's AvatarBelle Rain (rated this 7)

#14Nassa Dikaios's AvatarNassa Dikaios (rated this 4)

Interesting, but what does this man really do? How can such an ordinary man with no great powers effect so much change in other peoples lives, just by writing on paper? This is the start of something really good, but it needs a lot more development.

#15Lucas Thor's AvatarLucas Thor (rated this 7)

very well written

#16Nicola Starweller's AvatarNicola Starweller (rated this 4)

#17Rosanna Gullveig's AvatarRosanna Gullveig (rated this 7)

This was totally unexpected as a potential villain.. but really good nonetheless.

#18May Moon's AvatarMay Moon (rated this 8)

very good

#19Lorelai Lavington's AvatarLorelai Lavington (rated this 6)

It's good, it leaves me wanting more. What's the pen for? What would he do with it to change your life?

#20Ayahzy Nahki's AvatarAyahzy Nahki (rated this 9)

I love the rhythm of this description. Very well written.

#21Momoko Asakura's AvatarMomoko Asakura (rated this 8)

Nice description! I like how your story goes. It's interesting.

#22Niniel Sanders's AvatarNiniel Sanders (rated this 10)

I love the way you come up with the unexpected. We're all expecting some super-fellon, and instead you come up with something like this. Power is a scary thing, and not all people who have it, even legally, understand to wield it properly. My guess is that this is a ministry official from the dapartment of children and families who does not understand that a home does not have to be perfect in the eyes of an outsider to be seen as the most perfect home by the child living there. very Good piece..

#23Zia Stonebury's AvatarZia Stonebury (rated this 10)

Three words. Brill-i-ant!