It had been five weeks since Prof. Ulol Kimil had disappeared. The first week most people just thought he had finally cracked from all of the “dramz” and disappeared to an unplottable sunny island. The second week a few people started to get worried. People started looking for clues in his disappearance in week three. However, they were not able to find anything until a week later. Week four was when chaos broke out in HOL. Professor Cassandra Sparkleissa Lobiesk appointed herself to the position of Headmistress, Ruler of the HOL World, and Owner of All Souls, Beans, and Cake.
At first most people just thought she was being silly and trying to lighten the mood in the school. However, when she continued to enforce more and more new rules, such as cake for every meal and T-Swizzle Thursdays, everyone began to realize that she was involved in the disappearance of Prof. Kimil. Prof. Pavel A. Lagrange was the first to accuse our new headmistress of disposing of Prof. Kimil. After he publicly accused her in front of the entire school, he was captured and punished. From then on, whenever he talked he sounded like a pirate and was often seen looking for his kidnapped parrot, Polly-C. The next accuser and eventual victim was Maya Winters. Being one of those closest to Cassandra, she had a good idea of where Prof. Kimil was hidden. Before she would tell anyone else, however, Cassandra got suspicious. Maya was then locked in a room babysitting Jesus Harry, Cassandra’s child. Next came Alexia Riaper who was caught writing a story for the Alte about how corrupt Cassandra was. Alexia had to spend every day and night doing math equations that Cassandra assigned to her.
HOL had finally had enough when Cassandra threatened to cancel quidditch. RQT decided to take action. While Cassandra was distracted by a couple bludgers let loose in her cake supply room, RQT broke into her office looking for a way to force her out of power. What they found was Prof. Kimil tied up in a corner under a sheet with holes in it. They quickly found out that he had asked Cassandra to write a wordy announcement for him. However, she had instead written a contract saying that he would allow her to tie him up and take over HOL. Prof. Kimil had simply signed the document without fully reading it. RQT agreed to release Prof. Kimil and help him destroy the document if he agreed to never ban quidditch. Due to the five weeks he had spent being tortured by Cassandra’s constant singing and emo’ing, he didn’t even hesitate to agree. He was released and regained his title of Headmaster. Cassandra is now Head of the Complaints Department, where she not only has to listen to every complaint, but she also has to come up with a solution to everyone’s problems. We think she learned her lesson.